How long till my order ships?

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Orders placed by 12pm Mon-Fri usually ship that day, sometimes even on Saturdays!

Orders placed after 12pm will ship within 1 business day, but may still ship that day.

When will I receive my order?

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These days, honestly, who the f#@k knows. (joking, sorta....)

Usually within 2-4 business days, depending on the distance.

Most orders ship USPS Priority, which historically has been pretty fast and reliable, until around November of 2020 when they we're seemingly sabotaged from within. Weird....

Good news is they mostly seem to still have their sh*t together, and only occasionally "FedEx'it up"

(FedEx'ing it is when your package seems to have dropped from a plane and then hit another plane before crashing into your porch, only after a dozen supposed "delivery attempts" where they didn't even drive by).

For larger orders, we will sometimes ship UPS, who like USPS is usually pretty reliable.

We won't ever ship via FedEx, because we don't hate you.


How should I store my coffee?

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And how long to coffee beans last? The answer to this depends on how quickly you'll go through it, and whether its ground or whole bean. (whole bean keeps significantly longer)

Whole Bean:

1-2 weeks? In our bag with the zipper sealed is just fine, preferably somewhere cool, dry, and dark, you know, like a cupboard. NOT IN THE FRIDGE!

3-4 weeks? At this point we might consider pouring half the coffee(1-2 weeks worth) into a sealable glass jar, just large enough to fit the coffee without too much extra space. We understand humans like oxygen, but its terrible for coffee(and robots). Placing this jar in the freezer, and removing the day before you need it, letting it thaw at room temp, while still sealed to avoid condensation forming on the coffee.

Longer than a month? What are you, prepping for the inevitable robot apocalypse? If you absolutely must, we'd recommend vacuum sealing in 1-2 week increments, and storing in a non-defrosting freezer like a chest freezer. These are non-convection freezers meaning they don't cool by blowing cold air. Constant air movement, and the temperature fluctuations that are inherent to standard home freezers are terrible for long term storage. If you're buying perishable goods in bulk for long term storage and don't own a basic vacuum sealer, and a chest freezer, you're doing it wrong. Get your sh*t together.


How long do coffee grounds last? Once coffee is ground, the rate at which it "off-gasses" increases rapidly, and will begin losing its aromatic properties almost immediately. In our shops we won't grind coffee more than 10 minutes before brewing. The truth is, if you care about fresh, flavorful coffee, you should buy a grinder, especially if you don't go through it within 10 days. We're happy to provide recommendations for decent home grinders at several price points.

However, if you insist on buying ground coffee, the methods for preserving "freshness" mentioned above for whole bean coffee are applicable, but sped up.

1-2 weeks? While the bag is certainly fine for a few days, if you're trying to get the best possible results with ground coffee, we'd recommend storing in a sealable glass jar in the cupboard.

3-4 weeks? Just like whole bean we'd recommend splitting the coffee, this time into 1 week increments, and storing in glass jars without too much extra space, or even better, vacuum sealed bags. Just make sure to pull out only what you'll drink in the next few days, and allow it to thaw overnight at room temp before opening.

Longer than a month? Please, for the love of our soon to be robot overlords, buy a grinder.

More Advice for Humans Coming Soon

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